Bible


prodigal daughter Someone recently asked me what my greatest fear is. Immediately I knew…

“That my life will not matter. That I will waste it.”

This is my greatest fear because I am routinely tripped up by habits and patterns of defeat.  I have allowed old lies to quench the fresh power of the Gospel in my heart and mind. Why can’t I just believe God and obey?
I’ve been an easy mark for the enemy. I don’t put up much of a fight. He knows my wounds and knows there are STILL parts of my heart that are not whole.

A little over a year ago I was in the Middle East serving alongside godly men and women who have given their lives in service to the Gospel. During that trip, an attack on some of our team members was evident and I was not prepared (spiritually) for my personal assault. A bitter root had grown in my heart and I foolishly did not rip it out the minute it took hold. One morning, around 3 a.m. I awoke to a familiar sound. It was different this time – I truly felt the enemy “singing” over me and it penetrated my soul. He was taunting me.  I never really talked about it or prayed about it -but I should have.

God knew where I was about to go- He knew my failures before I knew them. Yet in His GRACE He planned an escape route, deep healing, new purpose, godly guidance, financial provision and specific scripture – all in a matter of days – all waiting for me on the other side. Fully restored, fully cleansed and fully forgiven. I only had to reach out and take it! Jesus had already paid my debt and I am in awe.

I am still in the midst of this battle but I am praying the armor – fighting again and praying for WHOLENESS. Pray for me that God will not let me waste this experience. I am determined to stop living in defeat. But I (obviously) cannot do it in my own power. I have tried and I have failed and failed and failed…You’d think I would get the hint by now!

But I am HOPEFUL! Trust me…I have cause to be full of hope because of what I am learning about myself and what God’s word promises. I want FREEDOM!!!!

“Don’t be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.”

Grace Hansen

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chronicles-of-narnia-prince-caspian-aslan-and-edmundDo you remember this scene in Disney’s “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe”? The one when Aslan brings Edmund back to camp and his siblings see him for the first time since his betrayal? Aslan and Edmund are seen talking by themselves in the distance, alone. When Aslan brings him back to face his brother and sisters he says,

“Here is your brother and there’s no need to talk about what’s in the past.”

As another blogger points out, Alsan did not excuse his behavior but did not condemn him either. We are led to believe that Edmund repented of his actions to Alsan (Jesus). Once forgiven by Jesus there is no need for any mention of it again by Christian brothers and sisters. That’s is what forgiveness and restoration is. So why is it that we as Christians seem so intent on making the sinner suffer even when forgiven and restored by God?

My thoughts :

1.We Are Afraid

We are creatures filled with fear and anxiety. If a person betrays us once they could do it again and we live in terror of this. The most frequent command Jesus spoke was, “Do not fear.” He knew because of our sin we will live in fear because our sin separates us from the assurance and comfort of God. As Beth Moore says, “We are not born brave and He knows it.”

2.We Need To Control

When others let us down it is almost impossible for a human to grant trust to that person again apart from God’s help. But honestly, giving trust to someone is always risk. Because our frail emotions are so inextricably tied to the actions of others we only extend trust if we get something in return. Ideally, trust and love should be given by the Christian with no expectation of anything in exchange. If we are filled with Christ we need nothing else from others. This is a lofty goal but is what Jesus taught – impossible to live out apart from the Spirit of God in us.

edmund-eats-white-witchs-food3.We Are Idolaters

So often we find our worth or reason for life in who someone else is rather that who we are in Christ. When they let us down we no longer know who we are. We lose our identity. Our leaders, our family, our bible teachers…all people – not gods. What would you do if the Christian teacher you most admire revealed moral failure? Would you feel betrayed by that person or by God?

5.We Are Hypocrites

We immediately distance ourselves from and gossip about those who have moral failure all the while ignoring  the planks in our own eyes. We measure sin for sin and at the end of the day feel better about our private sins when others’ are made public. We convince ourselves we are “not as bad as that guy!” Whew!

6. We Gravitate Toward the Law

No matter how much we talk about Grace we don’t live it out. When tested, our checklisted-boundary-filled-guidelined-clean and tidy lives have no room for deviations by others. Rules are safer than the messy life of those that love the bleeding and broken. If we live as Christ taught us to, we are guaranteed to be hurt by those we love. 100% chance of getting our heart broken. Yet, the precious gift is the power God gives us to leave our safe lives and get dirty with those would will betray us and still have the capacity to extend unmerited, scandalous grace. “They will know you by how you love each other.” “Forgive others as you have been forgiven.”

Your thoughts?

dd_narnia

I saw this short but fascinating article about Alexander Cruden on Desiring God’s website. An Interesting story of the man who wrote the first complete concordance of the King James Bible (by himself in his spare time!)

The concordance was first published in 1737 and there are currently 18 different versions available today.

Apparently, the guy was quite a nut and thank God for him! 777,746 words later this good, insane concordance maker created a tool invaluable to all Bible students (including me) wanting to search the depths of God’s rich word.

“Beware of belittling God’s crooked sticks. With them he may write the message that that makes a thousand people glad.”

-John Piper